What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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