They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
