I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
