I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
