I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
