I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
