Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
