how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
