is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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