i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize