so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
