Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
