i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
