You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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