her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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