whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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