You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
