is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
