I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
