I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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