First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
