4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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