And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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