Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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