you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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