he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
