How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
