Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am available for nakedness
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
