I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
