is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize