My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
