Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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