So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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