we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
