so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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