So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
