So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
