He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
