So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
