is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
