I wish i was in the wii world.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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