Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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