im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Blood and glitter go together right?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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