bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I party with great urgency now.
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