there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
