so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
