he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
