Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My bed smells like the plague
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
