Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
