We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
