You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
