So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
not ubering you a puppy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
