well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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