I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
