So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can I color on your dick again?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
