so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
