i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
