it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
