you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
